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The Unknown Legends of Dice Masters

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Dave Walsh.
Dean Leyland.
Joseph “JT” Horsfall.
Guillermo Rodri.
Jared Wood.
Victor Maya.
Retro-Matic Gamer

National Champions, World Champions, The Face of Dice Masters; the reasons that these names are etched on the halls of Dice Masters’ history need little explanation.

But what about the legends that walk among us? The legends, whose Herculean achievements, remain shrouded in mystery, shock and yes, sometimes even doubt?

You might be familiar with some of these legendary dice chuckers, like Doctor Count Von Homash, whose decrees used to echo on the pages of this very website but others are buried still.
This is the story of the Gods who amongst us, the Gods who roll little plastic dice and count miracles among the energy and character faces.

(What happened to the Count? Well, he was tried and convicted of war crimes in The Hague. His crime? Selling bootleg Yu-Gi-Oh dice.)

Gianni Perez - With a name like Gianni Perez, it was inevitable that he would turn to a life of crime. Born to a Mexican father and an Italian mother, numerous FBI sources peg Perez as a higher up in the Mexico City cartel. These sources also claim, although it can’t be confirmed at this point, that Perez is the boss of one Victor Maya, current DM world champion. Perez may also have thought the current world champ a thing or two. He is an unknown in the US as he is currently a wanted man and unable to cross the border. He is wanted for a laundry list of crimes from murder to sticking his hand up a vending machine receptacle chute to pilfer a pack of Skittles. When asked why he chose to steal the candy, he replied, “I really wanted to taste the rainbow.”

Vince “VC” Chen - Victor is a venture capitalist by day and is most likely the only Dice Masters competitor to hold a spot on the Forbes Top 500 list of billionaires. Once at a OP event, after Swiss seatings were announced but before the match occurred, Victor found out the employer of his opponent, bought out enough shares to own a controlling stake and then eliminated the division of the company that employed his opponent. Needless to say his opponent was on tilt and got destroyed after making mistakes all game.

Laura Litkin - Laura is well known for one win condition only, Vixen - Mari McCabe. She purchases one Vixen die, get its attack up to 20 and time and time again manages to get it through unblocked. She has become so adept at this that nobody in her local scene has the heart to mention that Vixen isn’t Modern legal and she continues to work her magic. What will happen when Laura makes the jump to the National stage? No one knows but the idea is compelling.

Joey Jo-Jo Shabadoo - Jo-Jo works as the fourth most successful magician in the St. Louis area. In between stints performing at sparsely attended children’s birthday parties he uses his slight of hand skills to succeed at Dice Masters. He once parallaxed a single die and somehow ended up with four energy from that die.

Clinton “the Bolt God” Jefferson, who wins with single energy bolt teams with no direct damage and no characters costing less than 6. When asked why he doesn’t play with Lantern Ring, he answered that, “Bolt God ain’t down with that jewelry b.”

D’Andre “Action” Jackson - “Action” has the particular quirk of only fielding teams with actions, no characters. He was recently caught up in a PED scandal as a event judge found Adderall residue in his dice bag.

Jenny Maron - Jenny has seemingly left the sport of competitive DM. The constant cries of adoration from her many male fans became quite a distraction. The adoration was incessant, songs written and sung that detailed her many victories. Her visage even gracing playmats that were said have been imbued with her winning ways. She now rolls dice in a galaxy far far away, her tournament career funded by new and old male fans who keep her crowdfunded coffers overflowing.

So, these are the stories, unknown to some yet obsessed on by others, of the legends of our sport. I hope you enjoyed them. I don’t profess to know all the stories. Do you know tales of legendary figures of Dice Masters? Leave them in the comments. Don’t let them be lost to the sands of time.
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